Well you are probably wondering what the title means. Well ill tell you. If you read my bog you will notice that Ive been thinking alot about not having a significant other in my life. Im not getting any younger and I feel its maybe time to do something about it. Well i met what I thought was a perfect match. We had alot in common..she was exactly what I wanted. Too good to be true...right? Well it was. She was perfectly honest with me when I hung out with her that there was another person, but we got along so good that I thought that it might not be an issue. Well as usual I thought wrong. Now i sit here wondering if it was me...was there something I could have done different? I really dont know but right now theres nothing I can do about it. I figured this would be the outcome but I didnt want to face it. Well last night I had to face it. Its not really her, I just started thinking about how much i fucked up over my life. So many opportunities I wasted. And for what? Nothing. Maybe I picked the wrong people...maybe I was at fault. I dont know. I know one thing tho...The common denominator is me. So here I sit at the crossroads of my life. Wondering where i go from here and I dont have an answer for that. Maybe Ill have to make a deal with the devil at the crossroad like Robert Johnson did so long ago. Maybe selling my soul to the devil is the only way that Ill get to where I want to be. Maybe its not in the cards for me to be happy. Ive done a lot of stupid shit over my life..some i regret..but its in the past and there nothing that will change it. So Ive got to look into the future and its looking mighty bleak. Maybe fate will intervene and save the day...until then...Ill just go with the flow. Being stuck in this house is not helping at all. i just sit and think about shit all day. More so in the last couple days. But it will be a memory like all the rest.
Now to more uplifting things. Im about a month out of knee surgery and Im bout ready to go crazy. I got one more week till I can bend my knee. So hopefully I can get out and about. Im really glad I bought this recliner last year. It has been my saving grace. Hopefully this surgery fixes my knee issue. Ill be so disappointed if it didnt. We will see next friday. Ill keep you posted on that.
Ive lost about 95 pounds as of today. I never thought I would do it but here I am. Id probably would have lost a lot more if i could walk with out a crutch but soon ill be going back to the gym and hopefull Ill get to under 300 before next summer.
Thats all im going to do now. im going back to my recliner and start watching football.
Until next time..
Love sully
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
ITS FOOTBALL TIME BABY!!!
Yes Im that damn excited. I hate for the summer to end but this is probably my favorite time. As im typing this Im watching USC and hawaii play. I care for neither school but it doesnt matter. Im watching it like I have money riding on it haha.
Its been about 5 months since my last update. A lot has went on. I officially lost 75 pounds. Im fitting into clothes I never thought Id get back in. Im feeling pretty good. But now since Im more active, my knee has been giving me problems. I was going to the gym trying to get strengthen it up but it started hurting bad. So I decided to go to my surgeon. He took a look at the MRI and then referred me to the Bone and Joint doctors up on North Gate. I went for the first time and saw a doctor that went to East Bank...hell yeah. He took one look at my MRI and xrays and said that my knee problem was major league and he was a minor league pitcher...hahaha. Well he said there was one person there that would prob fix it. I went back this past week and met Dr Legg. Thats pretty ironic I thought. Anyway..he said that the tendon didnt heal right and thats why i have pain. The kneecap is not aligned right and the tendon is really weak. So he suggested that he use what Im guessing will be a cadaver tendon and repair it. After the first surgery..I was dreading this. But Dr legg said that the surgery would take roughly 2 hours and ill be able to go home the same day. I could possibly go back to work after 2 weeks..but the issue is that I can bend my knee for 2 months. That means no driving. So getting to work will be a difficult task. Im going to try to take FMLA leave for the entire 2 months, but if im able to get to work..ill go. Id go nuts sitting at the house. But I scheduled my surgery for Sept 25. i decided to go ahead and get it done so that way by next summer I should be alot better. So I dont ask much but i ask that you pray for me that this surgery really fixes my knee. It really impedes my weight loss due to I really cant do everything I want to do. So on to other things.
You think with all this cool stuff happening in my life that I should be pretty happy...well im happy but Ive been thinking alot lately. Ill be 37 years old on November 7. I think back to all my exs in recent years. I cut ties with them all. I did keep in touch with them I think because I was hoping that the flame would come back and we maybe get back together. But after a while all I got was heartache. So I decided to cut ties. It wasnt hard for a couple of them but there was one that was difficult and still is. I keep telling my self that its for the best...but I tihink im lying haha. I still love her and prob always will. It takes willpower not to facebook stalk her..haha. But as I see MOST of my friends all have significant others. (I said MOST not all so dont comment that you dont..i dont care) Most are getting married. I just feel alone sometimes. I like to just drive somewhere and go places....like one day get up and drive to columbus or dayton or cincy. I dont have anybody to do that with and that sucks. I mean Im not the most handsome man on the planet but im not the Elephant man. Also, contrary to popular belief, Im not an asshole. Im a nice guy and you ladies who bitch and moan about trying to find a nice guy...you dont have to lie to kick it. I see the most screwed up people who are by far the worst people on the planet have awesome girls that they dont appreciate. I dont really know what Im doing wrong. If anybody knows..please tell me...Im open for suggestions. Ive got a good job...my own house...I got a big shoe collection...I mean what else do you women want...hahaha. People keep telling me that Ill eventually find someone. Well im not getting any younger, I dont want to find one when Im 50. That will just defeat the purpose. Im done feeling bad about my self....
Well im going to watch this hawaii game. USC looks like they got their hands full with the Rainbow Warriors.
Until next time my friends....
Love Sully
Its been about 5 months since my last update. A lot has went on. I officially lost 75 pounds. Im fitting into clothes I never thought Id get back in. Im feeling pretty good. But now since Im more active, my knee has been giving me problems. I was going to the gym trying to get strengthen it up but it started hurting bad. So I decided to go to my surgeon. He took a look at the MRI and then referred me to the Bone and Joint doctors up on North Gate. I went for the first time and saw a doctor that went to East Bank...hell yeah. He took one look at my MRI and xrays and said that my knee problem was major league and he was a minor league pitcher...hahaha. Well he said there was one person there that would prob fix it. I went back this past week and met Dr Legg. Thats pretty ironic I thought. Anyway..he said that the tendon didnt heal right and thats why i have pain. The kneecap is not aligned right and the tendon is really weak. So he suggested that he use what Im guessing will be a cadaver tendon and repair it. After the first surgery..I was dreading this. But Dr legg said that the surgery would take roughly 2 hours and ill be able to go home the same day. I could possibly go back to work after 2 weeks..but the issue is that I can bend my knee for 2 months. That means no driving. So getting to work will be a difficult task. Im going to try to take FMLA leave for the entire 2 months, but if im able to get to work..ill go. Id go nuts sitting at the house. But I scheduled my surgery for Sept 25. i decided to go ahead and get it done so that way by next summer I should be alot better. So I dont ask much but i ask that you pray for me that this surgery really fixes my knee. It really impedes my weight loss due to I really cant do everything I want to do. So on to other things.
You think with all this cool stuff happening in my life that I should be pretty happy...well im happy but Ive been thinking alot lately. Ill be 37 years old on November 7. I think back to all my exs in recent years. I cut ties with them all. I did keep in touch with them I think because I was hoping that the flame would come back and we maybe get back together. But after a while all I got was heartache. So I decided to cut ties. It wasnt hard for a couple of them but there was one that was difficult and still is. I keep telling my self that its for the best...but I tihink im lying haha. I still love her and prob always will. It takes willpower not to facebook stalk her..haha. But as I see MOST of my friends all have significant others. (I said MOST not all so dont comment that you dont..i dont care) Most are getting married. I just feel alone sometimes. I like to just drive somewhere and go places....like one day get up and drive to columbus or dayton or cincy. I dont have anybody to do that with and that sucks. I mean Im not the most handsome man on the planet but im not the Elephant man. Also, contrary to popular belief, Im not an asshole. Im a nice guy and you ladies who bitch and moan about trying to find a nice guy...you dont have to lie to kick it. I see the most screwed up people who are by far the worst people on the planet have awesome girls that they dont appreciate. I dont really know what Im doing wrong. If anybody knows..please tell me...Im open for suggestions. Ive got a good job...my own house...I got a big shoe collection...I mean what else do you women want...hahaha. People keep telling me that Ill eventually find someone. Well im not getting any younger, I dont want to find one when Im 50. That will just defeat the purpose. Im done feeling bad about my self....
Well im going to watch this hawaii game. USC looks like they got their hands full with the Rainbow Warriors.
Until next time my friends....
Love Sully
Monday, March 25, 2013
Day before surgery...
Well tomm is the big day. Im nervous and kinda terrified at the same time. I mean this is just going to be the biggest step I have ever taken. My life will change after tomm. I wont be the same. I mean mentally I will be but physically i wont. I wont be able to drink ever again. I wont be able to enkoy soem foods that I love now. But in the end Im hoping it will all be worth it. Thanks to all my friends and lovers (hahahahahaha) for your support. It means alot. I know this is a small update but Im tired from lack of food. So hopefully ill update tomm or the day after.
Until next time..
Love Sully.....
Until next time..
Love Sully.....
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Day 1 of Post Op Diet
Well this is my first day of pre op diet and I have found it not bad. Seeing that I did sleep half the day, I have survived. I found out that I can eat soup and broth that doesnt have chucks of stuff in it so i got some tomato soup and some beef and chicken broth. i also found out that I can eat sugar free stuff like pudding, jello, and popsicles. So I got a bunch of those. For protein, I ordered some Nectar Syntax Double stuffed Cookie stuff from Amazon. On a suggestion from a friend I went to Drug Emporium to find somethign else but they didnt have anything. I ended up getting some Muscle Milk cake batter and cookies and crem flavored. The cake batter is not that bad. So im straight for a couple days. Ill update tomm.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
March 26, 2013
That date will become one of the most important dates in my entire life. That is when I have my weight loss surgery. I elected to have the Vertical Sleeve surgery. For those that are skinny and dont know fat people shit...let me explain what vertical sleeve is. Vertical sleeve is basically the doctor pulling out 3/4 of your stomach. This is less abrasive that gastric..which you have to reroute stuff. It also has less problems that gastric. You think I would be excited huh...hell no..Im freaking terrified. Its not the surgery Im terrified of. Its that I have failed so many times before trying to make myself better that I have resorted to this. What if I fail at this? There is nothing else left. Thats what Im afraid of. I guess if I fail at this..God wanted me to be fat and Ill have to accept it. I also feel like I let some people down by going the easy route. Well It took 30 years to get this shape....i dont have 30 years to take it off.
I find my self thinking of all that I didnt do or wasnt able to do cause of my weight. There is a lot of things that I have missed out on. When I have a child, I swear right now, I will not let them miss out on any opportunity because of limitations. I had a great childhood, but there is so much more that I could have done. I bet I missed out on a bunch of jobs due to being overweight. I know for a fact that I have missed out on having someone special cause of being overweight. Im excited about the all the possibilities that will arise once I get the majority of this weight off. I might be able to start buying t-shirts that I want and not t-shirts that im limited to. Skinny people have no idea who much it sucks to not be able to buy ANY t-shirt you want. I know it sounds petty, but dammit Ive done this all my life. I really envy skinny people that buy clothes from anywhere. I dress nice, but I could dress so much better. Just the simple things that will change are going to be so much better. Fitting in small cars, being able to ride in a plane semi comfortably (i seen even skinny people have some issues...whats the deal with plane seats...they are made for 10 year old kids), being able to work on my car, being able to walk as far as I want with out my knees or back hurting, the list goes on and on.
I took a month off from work and everybody there has been supportive and I thank you. The first week before the surgery is the dreaded liquid diet. This is why I took the first week off from work. i would be able to but seriously could you imagine me talking to someone on day 3 with nothing to eat and my team lead brings in Wendys? I would probably lose my job. So Im gonna hole my self up in my house by myself. I have 23 Bond movies to watch and I have the Internet. Ill be good. I think I might do a daily blog post about how I felt that day. It should make some interesting reading. Then after the surgery, Ill be camping out at my parents house for a couple days. Then its home sweet home. My roommates moved out for a month to let me recover from this with no distractions. I now will have free access to a gym and I think ill go every day until I start work again. My goal is to lose 40-50 pound s by the time I go back to work. Might be an unreachable goal...but we will see. Thats pretty much it about the surgery.
Now on to issues that piss me off. I think I might start blogging these on the frequent cause I feel like Im all pent up with rage over so much stupidity in this world.
Let me start out on these stupid ass conspiritards. These are people that think everything is a conspiracy. I think they have too much time on their hands. Anyway, what got me hating these idiots is all of the conspiracies surrounding Sandy Hook. Now this is a tragedy and they should just let it go and stop trying to blame someone and let them people rest in peace. Im sure the victims families would like these morons to shut the hell up about it. So heres the deal, there are actually people out there that believe that Obama and company are responsible for the massacre that occurred. Let me repeat this....OBAMA IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SANDY HOOK. So from what I see, Obama arranged this to bring light to the gun control laws that he is wanting passed. So let me get this straight. Our president ordered that innocent children and teachers be killed in Sandy Hook so that he can pass some gun control laws. Do you people really believe this? If so, please do us all a favor and NEVER vote in an election again. Please. You are the root of whats wrong in America today. Yes Obama has done some things that make me think he is mildly retarded, but if you think Mitt would have done any better you are fooling yourself. people keep talking about balancing the budget...hell half of you cant balance a fucking checkbook. So with that said, please stop sending me anti Obama pictures. It makes you look more and more like someone that wears a tin hat.
Another thing that pisses me off to no extent are people that abuse the welfare system. Now I know there are some people that need it, but there are some that are using their vagina as a baby factory just to get more of my fucking tax money. There was even a quote from someone on welfare that stated she makes something equal to 80,000 a year in money and help. WTF I work my ass off for everything I have. I thing these dumb asses should to. For instance, if you are on welfare and have no job, i think you should go to a taxpayers house and mow their lawn. Seriously..get up...get out...get something. I think they should limit the amount of money someone gets for kids. If you have over 3 kids and living on welfare...tough shit...that 4th child? Better man up. I think we should limit it to 3 kids per household. After three..get your shit fixed cause we dont need your kids growing up expecting the tax payers to keep handing them shit without doing stuff for it. If you grow up in poverty, more than likely the cycle will continue with your children unless you get off your lazy ass and try to better yourself. Hell the least you could do is clean my house.
Thats it for now. Ill start blogging my day to day struggle with liquid diet. A good laugh will be had by all.
Until then....
Love Always
Sully
I find my self thinking of all that I didnt do or wasnt able to do cause of my weight. There is a lot of things that I have missed out on. When I have a child, I swear right now, I will not let them miss out on any opportunity because of limitations. I had a great childhood, but there is so much more that I could have done. I bet I missed out on a bunch of jobs due to being overweight. I know for a fact that I have missed out on having someone special cause of being overweight. Im excited about the all the possibilities that will arise once I get the majority of this weight off. I might be able to start buying t-shirts that I want and not t-shirts that im limited to. Skinny people have no idea who much it sucks to not be able to buy ANY t-shirt you want. I know it sounds petty, but dammit Ive done this all my life. I really envy skinny people that buy clothes from anywhere. I dress nice, but I could dress so much better. Just the simple things that will change are going to be so much better. Fitting in small cars, being able to ride in a plane semi comfortably (i seen even skinny people have some issues...whats the deal with plane seats...they are made for 10 year old kids), being able to work on my car, being able to walk as far as I want with out my knees or back hurting, the list goes on and on.
I took a month off from work and everybody there has been supportive and I thank you. The first week before the surgery is the dreaded liquid diet. This is why I took the first week off from work. i would be able to but seriously could you imagine me talking to someone on day 3 with nothing to eat and my team lead brings in Wendys? I would probably lose my job. So Im gonna hole my self up in my house by myself. I have 23 Bond movies to watch and I have the Internet. Ill be good. I think I might do a daily blog post about how I felt that day. It should make some interesting reading. Then after the surgery, Ill be camping out at my parents house for a couple days. Then its home sweet home. My roommates moved out for a month to let me recover from this with no distractions. I now will have free access to a gym and I think ill go every day until I start work again. My goal is to lose 40-50 pound s by the time I go back to work. Might be an unreachable goal...but we will see. Thats pretty much it about the surgery.
Now on to issues that piss me off. I think I might start blogging these on the frequent cause I feel like Im all pent up with rage over so much stupidity in this world.
Let me start out on these stupid ass conspiritards. These are people that think everything is a conspiracy. I think they have too much time on their hands. Anyway, what got me hating these idiots is all of the conspiracies surrounding Sandy Hook. Now this is a tragedy and they should just let it go and stop trying to blame someone and let them people rest in peace. Im sure the victims families would like these morons to shut the hell up about it. So heres the deal, there are actually people out there that believe that Obama and company are responsible for the massacre that occurred. Let me repeat this....OBAMA IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SANDY HOOK. So from what I see, Obama arranged this to bring light to the gun control laws that he is wanting passed. So let me get this straight. Our president ordered that innocent children and teachers be killed in Sandy Hook so that he can pass some gun control laws. Do you people really believe this? If so, please do us all a favor and NEVER vote in an election again. Please. You are the root of whats wrong in America today. Yes Obama has done some things that make me think he is mildly retarded, but if you think Mitt would have done any better you are fooling yourself. people keep talking about balancing the budget...hell half of you cant balance a fucking checkbook. So with that said, please stop sending me anti Obama pictures. It makes you look more and more like someone that wears a tin hat.
Another thing that pisses me off to no extent are people that abuse the welfare system. Now I know there are some people that need it, but there are some that are using their vagina as a baby factory just to get more of my fucking tax money. There was even a quote from someone on welfare that stated she makes something equal to 80,000 a year in money and help. WTF I work my ass off for everything I have. I thing these dumb asses should to. For instance, if you are on welfare and have no job, i think you should go to a taxpayers house and mow their lawn. Seriously..get up...get out...get something. I think they should limit the amount of money someone gets for kids. If you have over 3 kids and living on welfare...tough shit...that 4th child? Better man up. I think we should limit it to 3 kids per household. After three..get your shit fixed cause we dont need your kids growing up expecting the tax payers to keep handing them shit without doing stuff for it. If you grow up in poverty, more than likely the cycle will continue with your children unless you get off your lazy ass and try to better yourself. Hell the least you could do is clean my house.
Thats it for now. Ill start blogging my day to day struggle with liquid diet. A good laugh will be had by all.
Until then....
Love Always
Sully
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