Well you are probably wondering what the title means. Well ill tell you. If you read my bog you will notice that Ive been thinking alot about not having a significant other in my life. Im not getting any younger and I feel its maybe time to do something about it. Well i met what I thought was a perfect match. We had alot in common..she was exactly what I wanted. Too good to be true...right? Well it was. She was perfectly honest with me when I hung out with her that there was another person, but we got along so good that I thought that it might not be an issue. Well as usual I thought wrong. Now i sit here wondering if it was me...was there something I could have done different? I really dont know but right now theres nothing I can do about it. I figured this would be the outcome but I didnt want to face it. Well last night I had to face it. Its not really her, I just started thinking about how much i fucked up over my life. So many opportunities I wasted. And for what? Nothing. Maybe I picked the wrong people...maybe I was at fault. I dont know. I know one thing tho...The common denominator is me. So here I sit at the crossroads of my life. Wondering where i go from here and I dont have an answer for that. Maybe Ill have to make a deal with the devil at the crossroad like Robert Johnson did so long ago. Maybe selling my soul to the devil is the only way that Ill get to where I want to be. Maybe its not in the cards for me to be happy. Ive done a lot of stupid shit over my life..some i regret..but its in the past and there nothing that will change it. So Ive got to look into the future and its looking mighty bleak. Maybe fate will intervene and save the day...until then...Ill just go with the flow. Being stuck in this house is not helping at all. i just sit and think about shit all day. More so in the last couple days. But it will be a memory like all the rest.
Now to more uplifting things. Im about a month out of knee surgery and Im bout ready to go crazy. I got one more week till I can bend my knee. So hopefully I can get out and about. Im really glad I bought this recliner last year. It has been my saving grace. Hopefully this surgery fixes my knee issue. Ill be so disappointed if it didnt. We will see next friday. Ill keep you posted on that.
Ive lost about 95 pounds as of today. I never thought I would do it but here I am. Id probably would have lost a lot more if i could walk with out a crutch but soon ill be going back to the gym and hopefull Ill get to under 300 before next summer.
Thats all im going to do now. im going back to my recliner and start watching football.
Until next time..
Love sully
