Happy New Years!!

Well i survived NYE without much problem.   I didnt spend it the way I wanted to but I was surrounded by good friends and thats all that matters.   Now its time to get serious.   As I ponder on the last year I am ashamed.   I did not do anything to better my life and that scares me.  There are so many things that I need to do but yet I am lazy and so unmotivated to do something about it.  But that stops now.   My motto is going to be "No Excuses".  I want to live long enough to be a dad...to have a family.  But if I keep going like I am...I wont see any of that and it pains me.   I do not know why Im like that.  I think its cause I hate change.  Im so used to the old routine that Im afraid that if I stray from it bad things will happen...hell I dunno.  Ill ask Dr Phil next time I see him. 

On a sadder note....Ive thought about my best friend all day long..Jonathan Moss.  I miss him so much.  He was my right hand man.  It been 3 years now i think...but it seems like yesterday.   I think of him everyday.  I really wish he was here to help me through this year but I can only ask myself  "WWMD" (What Would Moss Do)  I ask him for guidance and sometimes I really think he guides me.   As I type this tears fall from my eyes.  RIP friend.  Ill never forget you.  I cant wait to see you again.  Ok enough of that.  I know he wouldnt want me being all depressed. 

Il go ahead and tell eveybody what Im planning on doing.  Im having the fat ass surgery.  For those that dont know....Im trying to get a Gastirc Bypass done.  I qualify for it.  I just hope my insurance will approve it.  I know some people will say that cheating.   Well fuck you.  I need it.  Ive tried this dieting thing and its not me.  Yes I know your eating habit will change dramatically, but I have to do this.   My appointment with the fat ass surgeon is sometime in late Jan.   I stil have to go though hoops to get there...but hopefully everything will go my way.  This is my last resort.  I dont know what else to do.  I have 2 friend that did it and they are doing well.

This wil lbe a big change in my life.  I wont be able to party like I used to.  I hope my friends will understand that and support me.   I might lose some friends along the way but they werent true friends to begin with.  I know Lynn Hill is shaking her head right now...haha.  Ill still be the same me...but I just cant go out like I used to. 

Well I just want to wish all my friends a happy new year.  I hope this year brings everything you want it to.  I know this year will be tough but it will be worth it in the end.  Thanks to everyone following this.  Ill prob use this to document what I eat and what exercises I do, Ill do those at the end of my posts so that you dont have to read all that crap.  Until next time.....

Love always
Sully